thedarlingone | (no subject)

So I was listening to music and prepping a cross-stitch project, at three in the morning, because I don't have to be at work till late (I have a dietician appointment so I moved my schedule around) and I am emotionally stuck. I don't want to go to work. It's depressing and I keep avoiding it and even though I've made a lot of progress letting my boss know why I'm having problems, solutions are taking a while and also being generally unsatisfying, and it's getting pretty close to being a race between whether I quit first or am fired for missing too much time first.

So "A Spoonful of Sugar" came on, and -- I've added enough new people lately that I should probably explain a bit. You know, you learn something at the right age and it doesn't matter if it's true, it basically becomes an article of faith. That causes a lot of trouble in this world, but that's beside the point. Point is, my philosophy of life right now, there's a lot of Mary Poppins (the movie, not the books) and a lot of Tolkien. So: "In every job that must be done, There is an element of fun. You find the fun and, snap! the job's a game!"

So it would take a lot of convincing for me to stop looking for that leavening of fun in my job, but... call center work is pretty all-consuming. It requires your ears and mouth and hands and eyes and brain, all at once, constantly for an eight-hour day. You can't be doing anything else at the same time. I was doing okay as long as I had a supervisor I could sass back and talk about Star Wars with, and as long as he had a friend who would come over and goof around with him late in the evenings. Sort of vicarious fun through people less tied to a desk. But I have a different supervisor now, a stricter one, and I barely ever see my old supervisor, and his friend has transferred out entirely.

So I'm not sure what to do with that. It'd be... useful to find some way to keep my mood up at work that wasn't dependent on specific other people being around. But I'm not, or I haven't been, a person with a whole lot of internal mood regulation; that's why I have music, among other things. And I haven't come up with any options that are even possible to try, within the limitations of the job and the security requirements. But I have to do something. Otherwise I'll keep being stuck in this pattern of quitting and having to find another job and losing whatever makes that one bearable and quitting there too.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Is there any way you could do hand-work while you're on the phone or between calls? Like, bring your cross stitch with you, to give your hands something to do?

I've worked at phone-based jobs and for me, the worst part was having to listen without *doing* something with my hands. (This might not be what you're struggling with at all, of course.) (And I do see that you say that the job takes your hands as well, but...)

Are your co-workers also unhappy with the change in supervisors?

I'm so sorry that your job is being annoying.

I bring my knitting, but I don't have any time on calls -- I have to be constantly clicking and typing things, interacting with the customer's account and the research systems. And there hasn't been any time between calls for months. :P It really is kind of all-consuming.

1. I mean, the thing is here, if the problem is essentially that you're not feeling well enough, which it might well be, then working with your doctor and managers and doing whatever is best is the most you can do, and that sucks. *hugs*

2. If not, you do the job to get the money and while there are certain things (harmful, illegal, immoral etc.) you shouldn't have to put up with, the fun is technically irrelevent. Go to work, do the job, get released at the end of the day, get paid. In between keep your eyes open from your current vantage point of having a job for something you would like better.

Before that sounds a bit grim (and also see #1, because #2 is not applicable if #1): It also sucks to lose the people you liked. I am not good at that either! But while some people you get on with instantly (and some people you never will) an awful lot of the people are somewhere in between and given time may become people who help the day go by more pleasantly - but it often does take time. Also, play games with yourself to keep from getting too bored/down-spirited. I don't know what would work best for you or in your job, but maybe things like guessing the no of a certain type of call or caller you'll get by the end of the day, or awarding yourself a point when callers use a specific word or phrase? You can also reward yourself for real when you 'win' or reach a designated number of point, with a treat (because, after all, the game got you to last out another day and get another paycheck, so hey). Silly, but harmless, and sometimes you need daft stuff like that to keep your mind from zoning out, or just from pulling your hair out. It also doesn't depend on other people. Or whatever else of that kind you can think of that might help you get through to home time.

And keep a look out for that Other, Better Job as you go. But if it isn't primarily #1, then, Turtle, get in to work! Do the thing! <3

But mostly *hugs* and I suspect there is at least a good helping of #1 in what's going on there. Good luck.

Edited 2019-06-15 08:16 (UTC)